The Rest of my profile story.18:25 Oct 26 2005
Times Read: 584
I was born on January 1, 1974 at 12:01 am. I died on December 10th 1978 at 16:34 hrs. when I was 4 years old, I was abducted from my house while my mother was in the kitchen, she never knew. I was taken to a 50 ft. overpass and was thrown into the cold icy river below. The water was cold and it felt like a thousand needles going into me at one time. This did not satisfy the hunger of my attacker. He then came to the rivers edge as I was trying to swim to the other side from him. He then began to toss large brick sized stones at me until I was struck several times and was taken away by the rivers flow. I was dead. I am thankful that it was winter then, because the freezing water actually slowed the process of my death down, and preserved me so that I could rise again. I was found by some people about 5 mins later. I was revived by the paramedics, but on the way to the hospital, I had flat lined again. They could not get me back for almost 6 mins or so. Then once again while in the hospital I flat lined again. This time I was gone for about 10 mins or so. The doctors did not thaw me out so to speak because they knew that I would be able to survive 10 mins or more without oxygen to the brain if I was frozen. They were able to get me back, and since then I have felt strange about myself and about all that is around me.
I was told by several people that when I died those 3 times, each time I lost a part of me that would have made me something that I am not at this time. I was told that in place of what is missing I was granted an even greater gift than what I would have if I would not have died. I never knew what they were talking about until I got into my teen years.
When I was in my teen years I knew then what my mother was talking about when she told me that I would notice many things that were different with me. Since my death I have been more in tune with many things around me. I feel things and know things, before they happen. I can not tell anyone the lottery, however I do know moments before something will happen that I am involved with, should it pose a threat to me. It so far has never failed me. This I never had a problem with and many people have said that it is a good gift, so to speak. I have to agree with them.
There are also other things that happen with me that I am still confused about to this day. There is another so called “gift” that happens with me every so often that I do not like. The reason that I do not like it is because I am confused as to the nature of it, or where it comes from. I know when things will happen to me, and to those that are close to me, however there have been a few times that when I am really really pissed off that I have seen things that do not relate to me, however they relate to the person or group of people that have pissed me off. I am not sure if it is possible for me to cause things to happen, or do I see them before they happen because I am in a deep emotional state due to something or someone pissing me off. I will tell the story behind this one because it actually was the first time it has happened. I know it has not been the last either.
I was in middle school sitting with my friends, when this girl and her two pet monkey boyfriends came over and started to talk a much of mess about me and my friends. Now I had put up with that mess from her and her friends for almost 2 years. Like always I just ignored them however this time something happened that has never happened with me before. Right while she and her friends were in my face saying a bunch of shit, I “zoned” out on them. I could no longer see or hear them. What I did see was that the 3 of them were trying to cross a street going to the bus. They looked both ways and then proceeded to cross. Half way into the street a large ford truck dark blue in color had struck them down, and never even stopped. I seen the girls body fly towards the curb, while one the boys had been thrown on the other side of the street. I have no idea what happened to the other boy. I then started to come out from being zoned out. For the rest of the day I could not help but to think about what I had seen and try to explain it. I called to my mother and told her what had happened. She told me to get to the kids before they left and tell them not to cross the street at the time they would normally do so.
At 310 pm I followed them down the street that they always walked down, I started to yell at them and try to get them not to cross the street. I even told them to come and attack me if they wanted. I felt really strange then, I tried everything I could to get them not to cross the street. I watched as they all went to the curb and looked both ways. I ran to the edge of the street where they were and told them not to go. They looked at me called me a “fag” and then started to cross. As they started to cross I began to shake as if I were colder than I had ever been. I looked down for a moment because I felt very weak and felt as if I would pass out. I looked up and seen that they were In the middle of the street, however I said nothing. Just as I had seen earlier I watched as all three were hit by a large navy blue ford truck. Their bodies had landed right where I had seen them when I zoned out. After it happened I no longer felt cold, I actually did not feel anything. I looked at the girl who was close to where I was. Her blood and internal organs scattered on the street as if someone had hit an animal or something. I looked at her lifeless face and told her that I bet next time she will listen to someone when they tell her not to do something. I then walked away.
When I got home I told my mother what had happened. I told her that I could not stop the three from walking to the bus no matter what I tried. I then retired for the night to my bedroom. It was the first time that I had actually seen someone killed like that. I did not know what to think about it. What I was worried about the most was did I actually cause this to happen? Did I “wish” this on them? Or had I actually seen something that would happened to another person other than myself? I was unsure. I am still to this day unsure because at times when I am at a heightened emotional state I see things happening to those who cause me pain, and it happens.
I have been told by my mother and countless other that I have to watch what I feel and control every emotion that I have at all times until I learn what this is. It is not easy being a teen and not being able to have an emotional outburst without fear of actually seeing someone die, and then they actually do. I know a few of them deserved it, however it is not for me to judge them. Sometimes I have no idea what to do, where do I turn, and who do I ask for help. The people I ask for help from often can not tell me anything, or they tell me something that I do not want to hear because their words are strange to me. Example. I went to a local church to ask the pastor about my problem. He told me that I had been given a “gift” to see when other will be harmed and that I should help them when I see it. I don’t think he was even listening to me, when I told him that I can see always if I am in danger, however I only see if others are in danger when I am in an emotional state, and when I see others in danger it always happens and what ever I seen before it happens does happen. The pastor was useless to me. Everyday I would pray that god takes these do called “gifts” from me. I would tell him that I never asked for them, and I never asked to be killed as a child either. Everyone I asked they all told me the same thing “Oh these are gifts” they tell me. I never knew what to think about it. It was not until I turned 20 that I realized that I was on my own on this. When someone would start to piss me off I would warn them to take a walk or something like that. I would do what I could to get them away from me. If they did not go, I would try to change my thoughts. I would do anything to keep from thinking about the person pissing me off.
One thing that I am happy about is that I do not get ill or do not catch a cold too often. Since I was a kid I would only get ill like one time every 3 years or so. When I did get ill, it would only last a day or so; not longer than 2 days. There are other things that I am not totally sure of, lets just say that I am in tune with just about everything around me. Things that can be seen, and things that can not. I told tell many people of this because they always look at me odd when I do say something.
When I was a teen, most teens my age were off drinking or at parties. I found comfort sitting in the local cemetery. Some of my best times of thinking were done there. I felt comfortable there. While I was there I would talk to the dead. I felt like I could tell them anything. There are many other things that go on with me, which I may or may not talk about. I will have to think about it. Until next time.
Thanks for taking the time to read this
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